Can’t tell if I’m over you now

I can’t quite precisely tell if I’m over you now.

I still stalk your social media profiles.

I still blush when I pass by the road where

You confessed your feelings first.

I still have every chocolates and roses

You’ve given me.

The drawer on the left of my bed,

Still contains all the gifts and letters from you.

I don’t hug the teddy you gifted me now

But it’s something different that I still have that teddy.

I feel like burning all our photographs

But the truth is that I cherish our memories looking at them.

The last few puffs of the cigarettes I leave untouched,

Still craves to be felt by your lips.

But I don’t cry over your hurt games anymore.

I don’t spend sleepless nights wondering if I still matter.

I don’t feel myself lurking over someone who doesn’t care.

I don’t feel lonely with someone right by my side.

No, I don’t hate myself anymore.

I might have forgotten what it feels like to be held with love

But then, I don’t flinch over an unfamiliar touch

Fearing it might be you

So you see, I can’t quite precisely say if I’m over you or not.

But one thing I’m quite sure of, I’m over the old me I used to be.

                                                                            -Brigid Shrestha